Dead Man Walking

From Barstool Sports

SAN JUAN, Puerto RicoA Puerto Rican man has been granted his wish to remain standing — even in death. A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina standing upright for his three-day wake.Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room. His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: “He wanted to be happy, standing.”

Do me a favor and make a mental note of where you were when you read this story.    Because I promise you this is going to revolutionize the wake business.   No more lying in the casket like a pussy.   Standing up while dead is going to become all the rage.  And it’s not going to stop with simple poses either.   Pretty soon the dead will be propped up watching TV, playing poker, dancing, riding a Jet Ski etc.  It’s going to become a game of who can top this.  And to think it all started in Puerto Rico with a man and his dream.   Somewhere Bernie Lomax is smiling….

Hey everybody! Look at the dead guy!

What would Madame Tussaud do.



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